It’s 3 am and I’m laying in bed staring at the dark ceiling as the moonlight filters through the blinds. what if? What If? WHAT IF? WHATIF?

It’s really hard to keep persistent thoughts at bay in the dark, at night, when we feel most alone. But there are ways to find distraction and comfort and sometimes even solidarity. 

1. Find an example that you are not alone. A poem, a message, a joke. In the case of the Whatif’s I always think of Shel Silverstein’s Poem, I mean if there is a whole poem about it I’m definitely not alone. 

2. Write it down then bin it. Writing things down is a great way to get them out of your head but the piles of post-its can continue to cause anxiety so creating a ‘bin list’ for items that are not top priority but you don’t want to lose can be a useful step to relieve pressure. 

3. Practise mindfulness via focused distraction. Clearing your mind at 3 am is hard so I prefer focused distraction. Like close your eyes and try to visualize in your mind a perfect orange (the skin texture, the color, the smell). Or slowly, starting at your toes, tense and relax all your muscles.

4. Transform the thought. Try changing the conversation you are having with yourself from ‘What if’ to ‘Even if’. Where ‘what if’ questions only lead to dead ends, ‘even if’ questions allow you to start to formulate an action plan. 

And remember our kids get the what if’s to so helping them learn and practice these techniques is great for the whole family.